"My Vocation Story"
by Sr Jane FMM on the celebration of her Golden Jubilee as a Religious nun on 30June2007

"Glorify the Lord with me"

Your Grace Archbishop Murphy Pakiam,  your Lordship Bishop Anthony Selvanaagam,  Archbishop Emeritus Soter Fernandez, Bishop Emeritus James Chan, My Parish Priest Rev. Fr. Phillips Muthu, Rev. Fathers,  Rev. Brothers and Sisters, Members of my family and my dear Friends: 

For the past weeks  people have asked me how old I was when I entered the Convent.  Also, why I enter the Convent.  So now I will share my story.
 
My parents Maria and Peter did not plan for any more addition to the big family they already have but I believe God must have decided last minute to squeeze me in.  I then became the last of nine children into the Koh Family.  After a lapse of nine years, it was no wonder my father was especially thrilled to announce my arrival..  No I was not spoilt.  I grew up with many nieces and a nephew.  Imagine a household full of kids, besides those of the neighborhood.  We played masak-masak, we played school, we played doctors and nurses and we even played church.  Life was simpler then.  There were no computer games, no Astro or TV but we were contented.

My mother was always a religious person.  She was our first Catechism teacher. Family prayer was a must each night and there was always a flower on the altar.  We kids specially loved big Church feast days because that also meant extra special food on the dinner table.   We were not rich but we were blessed. 

One day I saw two sisters walking past our house. “Where are they going?”  “To the hospital” replied my mother. “Why?” I asked. “To visit the sick” “Why the sick?” “To show kindness,” she said.  I thought to myself then, “when I grow up, I too will be a nun like them”.  I was then only six years old with a child’s dream.

School days were fun. And, like any other teenager, I had my share of fun, laughter and tears.  I was involved in several parish activities and the priests could always count on my group of friends and I for any help, even to cleaning the church when the sacristan was sick.  But I also loved parties and pretty clothes and going to movies. I even enrolled myself in youth groups.  I remembered my 16th. Birthday and my first dance to the Cuckoo Waltz.  Life was just beginning for me and it was great!  Now and again my dream of being a sister would surface   Not yet Lord, not yet!  But somewhere deep within me; I knew the day would have to come.

One evening, the FMDM Sisters came to our parish, Our Lady of Lourdes, Klang to show us a movie about their life.  I was amazed to see a young nun on a ladder and she as painting an old wall.  Suddenly that childhood thought and dream flashed through my mind again.  I was excited but a little worried. “Why me”?  I asked God.  “What about the other girls?   I have never left home!”  So days and weeks passed and the inner struggle continued.  I knew what I wanted but then, mere intention is not enough.  I needed God’s grace and courage to let go and let God.

The day Cambridge Exams were over, I went to church as it was customary for me to stop by after school for a little prayer.  I was happy.  “No more school assignments.  I am free”.   Kneeling there, it suddenly dawned on me, “Now, what shall I do with my life?  I am eighteen.”  That dream of a six year old, the movie the FMDM Sisters showed, suddenly came flashing back.

All I can now remember is knocking at the office door of Fr. Diffon.   He was always there to listen to us teenagers.  I confided in him and he gave a sigh and said “Ah! At last.  I knew it.”  I was quite puzzled how he knew but I was pleased for some encouragement.

Soon afterwards, he drove my two friends Angeline and Agnes and I to visit the Franciscan Sisters who have recently arrived in PJ.  I was deeply impressed by their warmth and hospitality and a part of my heart stayed with them.  At my next visit, Sr. Columcille, Sr. Enda and Sr. Lucia were there.  Their enthusiastic and joyful spirit overwhelmed me so much that I found myself expressing my interest in religious life to them.    

We talked for a while and suddenly, Sr. Columcille, the Superior said, “Oh wonderful, I need a teacher in the primary school and you can become an aspirant at the same time.  But you must begin in two weeks’ time if you decide to accept our offer”.  I almost fainted.  “My goodness, Lord what are you doing to me?”  Two weeks?  I couldn’t believe what I just heard.   I was homesick already.   I almost cried.  My heart was split.  Yes, yes, I wanted so much to give my life to God but two weeks?  O God, what shall I do?  Then a sudden thought comforted me. Maybe my wise mother will say, “Hold on!  You’re still too young, only 18.” 

“If God wants you, then you must go.”  She said quietly to me.  On the other hand, an old aunty friend said, “How can you do that to your mother?”  I prayed and my mother too.  I knew what I wanted. I told myself God would help me.  So before the end of the second week, I picked up the phone. “Yes, Sister I am coming.” 

So I taught for seven months while the Sisters studied me during this aspirancy period.  There were happy moments and homesick moments.  But the Lord took care of that and before I knew it, it was time to go home for a month to decide on my official entry into the Novitiate.  By then I had discovered that the sisters with whom I had lived for the past seven months were FMM Sisters and not the FMDMs who showed us the movie.  Never mind about that, I have fallen in love with the FMMs. 

It was good to be back with family and friends celebrating my sister’s wedding and being her bridesmaid, eating again my favorite food, and meeting new friends.  The month went by fast but this time I knew God would be always there to help me follow my heart. 

The day finally came and all the goodbyes.  At the convent, it was like coming home when the good sisters showered me with their hugs and kisses.  “You’re coming to stay” “O thank God” I heard Sr. Reguline whispered.  I guessed she must have experienced herself that goodbyes are not easy for some people.

I can’t believe I have been 50 years as an FMM.  I am eternally gratefully to my mother, a woman of deep faith and also to Sr. Columcille for the two weeks option she gave me.  God must have inspired her!  If not for the two weeks to decide, maybe I wouldn’t be standing here right now. 

I want too, very sincerely to say my heartfelt thanks especially to my mother, now in Heaven and my sisters and brothers and family for all they have been to me and still are, their love and support and caring.  My life as an FMM has been most fulfilling with the many blessings and opportunities given to me.  I cannot thank God enough except to live my life to the full for Him. 

To Frs. Phillip Muthu, Fr.Volle, Fr. Simon Labrooy and also Mgr. Daniel Lim, & Fr Clarence, not forgetting the then Fr. Selva now the Bishop of Penang;  thank you for the years working with you here in PJ and Kuantan.  My thanks too, to all the dear parishioners of Assumption Parish.  You have given me the opportunities to share my life and faith with all of you and thank you for sharing yours with me.  I like too at this moment to ask pardon of anyone whom I might have hurt in any way or at any time through my short-comings and lack of sensitivity but please know I thank my God each time I think of you and when I pray for you, I pray with joy.

Now I wish to thank our Archbishops, Bishops and Priests here who have come from near and far, to celebrate and glorify the Lord with me for His many Blessings. Your presence here, despite your heavy schedule, has deeply touched me. 

Also my heartfelt thanks to my FMM Sisters who have supported me all these past years and still are, my own brother John, my sister Anna and my sister Rosa and brother-in-law Ben and niece Marie who have come all the way from Canada, my nieces Rosalind and Evelyn from Australia, and the rest of my family members and friends from all over Malaysia and Singapore for joining me in my thanksgiving to God. 

To my Parish Priest Fr. Phillip Muthu, Fr. Volle and Mrs. Anita D’cruz and the Organizing Committee, the Altar Servers, the Altar Ladies, the choir, the Ministers of Hospitality, the BECs and all those who worked behind the scenes, my sincere and grateful thanks for the beautiful celebrations of the day.  I am deeply touch by your enthusiasm and the energy you have put into making this day such a sacred and grace-filled one for me.  Your love and support will surely carry me through for the rest of the journey I have yet to make.  God bless all of you!